


Nothing is Ever Easy

by hollyhunny411



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jackson is a Fencer, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 05:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5152004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollyhunny411/pseuds/hollyhunny411
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parallel to my first story Easy, this makes more sense if you read both.<br/>Mark and Jackson had been friends for as long as they could both remember, but what if that were to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing is Ever Easy

Jackson first met Mark when he grabbed his hand on the way to the playground. Mark looked a little lost, and so Jackson skipped over to him to grab his hand, like the teacher had asked. As they walked towards the playground he swung their arms together, reassuring Mark that they could be friends. Mark just smiled and so Jackson assumed that that meant Mark wanted to be his friend too. Jackson was certainly the bolder of the two and the more talkative but Mark had always put just as much into their friendship- just in less obvious ways. Jackson knew that. Mark was Jackson's best friend even if when they were together Jackson mostly talked and even worse, mostly talked in broken Korean still being a little behind everyone else in their classes. Sometimes he just couldn't tell people how he felt, and it was during a game of house when he first got frustrated and announced that it 'just wasn't fair' in plain English, watching the faces of all of his classmates change into various states of confusion and shock. After that he said he wasn't playing anymore and ran off to sit down. Mark followed too, even though he didn't have to and Jackson thought that he must not want to talk to anyone without Jackson there. 

 

Two days later Jackson had finally gotten his mum to agree to having Mark come over because he was really so polite and they would be quiet and he eats everything he promises. Jackson wasn't really sure that all those things were true but if it meant Mark could come over then he didn't really care. He was cleaning his room later that day when he heard the door open from his room, and stood up from where he had been tucking toys under his bed. Before he could even get there though footsteps were running up the stairs and then into his room and of course it was Mark, more excited than he had ever seen before. He watched Mark shut the door behind him waving shyly now looking embarrassed that he had run the whole way there. Then he was smiling and saying in an even quieter voice than usual that his name was Mark and oh my god he was speaking English and suddenly Jackson wasn't the only one who was new and confused because Mark was too. And he was Mark now, because Yi-en had just been the quiet boy with the Chinese name and Mark was so much more than that. They stuck together even closer after that, speaking in English when they were alone because Korean was hard and Jackson liked the way that Marks words, as infrequent as they were, felt safe and familiar. 

 

At school they stuck together because they wanted to, not just because Mark was too nervous to tell Jackson no but because Mark had chosen Jackson, out of all the more interesting and infinitely less annoying people. Sometimes Jackson took Mark home so they could play in the garden and Jacksons mum would make them kimbap and let them watch tv when it rained but what Jackson really looked forward to was going to Mark's house. Mark had a tree in his garden that he helped him climb and Mark's mum trusted them to go all the way to the river where Jackson would inevitably jump in, being sent home in Mark's tshirts which were too large for him. It happened so many times that his mum sent him with a pile of dry clothes to leave Mark's house. So Mark stopped laughing at Jackson dripping wet in his shirts and instead he just laughed at the little pile of Jacksons clothes folded neatly in the corner of his room and his mother's disappointed face every time Jackson left in a blue shirt and came back in a red one.   
It wasn't long after that time when Jackson had his first crush. Her name was Suzy and she was taller than him with black hair that stretched all the way down her back and Jackson thought she looked like an angel. He remembered his sister telling him that boys and girls who liked each other sometimes kissed but Jackson thought that he was probably too nervous for that. Instead he just let himself think about it anyway, then after a week of thinking about it the only thing to do was to ask Mark. After all, Mark was smart. But asking Mark to help him turned into asking Mark to help him practice, and Mark said yes because he was a good friend. So Jackson breathed in deeply and then leaned in pouting, until his lips touched Marks and then he pulled away in shock, trying to hide the redness growing on his cheeks. He remembered how Marks lips were soft and warm and for a minute he thought he might like to do it again, but then he remembered that boys like kissing girls and so he distracted himself with thoughts of Suzy instead. 

 

Suzy didn't want to kiss Jackson. At first he was shocked because Suzy was so nice and she looked like an angel and Jackson liked Suzy, so she should like him too. But she didn't. So Jackson sat under the tree for the whole of lunch and when Jackson came to look for him he started crying because he had been so stupid but Mark came to look for him anyway. He hugged him and walked him back to class where they were excused to the bathroom until Jackson had stopped crying, but he quickly lost track of time as he sat on the bathroom floor watching Mark walk quickly back and forth between him and the paper towels and watching him occasionally hold on to his shoulders supportively, helping as best he could. It wasn't until Mark spoke up for the first time to ask Jackson if he wanted to come home yet that tears stopped forming even though at the time neither of them was sure what had done it. That night they had ice cream and despite his argument his mum bought him an extra scoop and the look of disappointment of Mark's face was heartbreaking for all of a second before it was gone, even though Jackson knew that he still felt disappointed inside. 

 

Jackson worked even harder at having everyone love him after that day and for the most part, it worked. Jackson had gotten a reputation for being 'wild and sexy' and even when Mark laughed at his false confidence, Jackson never changed, all it did was make him thankful that he never had to be like that with Mark. The problem with his persona then was that he was never just happy. Sure all the girls he dated were pretty and honestly they were kind but he never loved them. And they loved a Jackson that wasn't even there, a person that Jackson could never be. So none of them stayed. He broke up with them or they broke up with him but either way he didn't mourn the loss of those girls, he was just back to the beginning again. Youngji was different. When Youngji broke up with him in the middle of the night he decided to go to Mark, climbing up the tree in the garden like Mark had taught him all those years ago and knocking on the window. It was late, but Mark was almost always awake anyway, he wasn't a good sleeper at the best of times. That night Jackson confessed to Mark his problem with Youngji which was that if Jackson hadn't been trying so hard he and Youngji would have made really good friends. He had forgotten why he was even trying so hard. Mark being with him that night was comforting even if his words weren't the best because as much as he tried Mark's never were. Jackson asked Mark that night for the first time why he never had girl problems and Mark had told him that he had never liked girls as if it hadn't been a lifelong secret in the first place. But anything Mark felt was okay, at least Jackson thought so and he hoped that was enough. To Jackson it was as simple as that. 

 

Except that it wasn't. Jackson thought about that night a lot after it happened because Jackson had long since realized that what his sister had told him wasn't completely true. Girls did kiss boys, but it was okay for boys to kiss boys too. Jackson spent a lot of nights ignoring how he felt, at clubs he went to he drank lots despite his fake ID being unconvincing because he himself was convincing enough to make up for it. The girls there kissed dryly, their breath some awful combination of drinks and smoke that tasted stale but at least it made him feel less guilty about leaving Mark alone on nights when they took him home and told him they loved him. And on nights when he didn't go home with one of them at least he had an excuse to crawl into Marks bed where if he was lucky Mark might throw his arm around him, even if it was just so he didn't fall out. And in the mornings he would put on his best pout and beg Mark not to go to that new job he had when they could stay and play video games instead, but Mark had always been more sensible than him so he forced him out of bed and into new clothes from his pile in the corner, which had been kept there out of habit. Then sometimes Mark would let him tag along to his work and grab a free coffee, before sending him off home clean and sober.

He missed Mark. 

A cup of coffee was never enough to make up for every training session after school where he fenced alone and every work shift where Jackson would be left alone until he decided to go out clubbing by himself again. Jackson had so much he wanted to say but something about Mark made him a coward and he would have to leave soon for the UK anyway, so what was there to say to the boy who had always just been his best friend. 

 

That was why on his last day before London he was shocked when Mark came stumbling into his room rambling about friends and leaving and life and... Jackson stopped him mid rant as he turned around to leave pulling at his wrist, which was pale and slender, and asked him to stay. He did. So Jackson kissed him and his lips were as soft as he remembered and his spine tingled under Mark's touch as he hooked his arms around Jackson's neck. Mark tasted sweet and sober and where Jackson had been used to sloppy kisses that tasted of cigarette smoke, Mark made him forget all of that. He pulled away, grinning, his head fuzzy and looked at Mark, the gentle boy he had loved from their first kiss. Mark who was crying, for reasons he hoped were not to do with him. 

 

'Jesus, no-one else thought it was that bad.' 

Mark giggled and Jackson was relieved to have lightened the mood, both of them bent over laughing. Maybe things would be easier now.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this makes the original feel more complete, I've been working on this for a while.


End file.
